How do you stay positive when most of the news you get is bad?

I recently was asked about this by a friend who was going through Leukemia. She had gone through a bone marrow transplant (unrelated donor, 7 out of 10 match) and was experiencing some GVHD (graft vs. host disease) in the form of a bad rash and also some intestinal tract issues. Her doctor felt the donor's marrow might not be grafting. 

The day I met with her, she was in tears. She admitted that she was doing better that day but the day before she had just wanted to give up....she was so weak and tired...she really thought that was going to be the end. Of course, it wasn't. But her feeling of hopelessness that day was a pure cry for support, affirmation, positivity, and assurance. So what do you say to someone who is feeling so uncertain about the future?

STAY STRONG! is always my message to her. But how do you really do that in the face of adversity?

A few tips I had for her were these:

• Seek support in the form of hugs and conversation with your family and friends.

• Be distracted....by your favorite movie, songs, books, play with the kids, or the cat or dog, puzzles, draw or paint, and keep busy. Remember what they say about humor? It's the best medicine.

• Let it out...speak openly about what you are feeling...no one has to even be there to listen. Sometimes just getting the words out of your mouth and into the air really helps take some of the weight off your shoulders and mind.

• Journal...again, spilling your guts on the page is a great way to get it out of your head.

• Focus on the good things....like the warm sunshine glaring through the window, the soft cat purring on your lap, your well-raised children, the nurses who come to your beck and call - EVERY time, and the fact that you are simply ALIVE!

• Ignore the numbers and statistics and focus on LIFE. We all will expire one day and no none knows when...not even the doctors. So when they say "you have x months to live" focus on LIVING! Before you know it, you may be proving them and their timelines wrong. It has happened before....and will again in the future. Miracles happen every day.

• Believe in the power of prayer...have a chaplain come into your room everyday (in the hospital that is) and just visit with you. This helped me tremendously...we actually became pretty good friends, too.

• Have a "pity party" - cry, moan, complain, and let it all out....but only for 10-15 minutes. Then count your blessings and move forward with a smile on your face. Enjoy the rest of the day.....and oh yeah, you can have more than one "pity party" a day if you need to, too.

• A positive attitude is the major ingredient of a good outcome. I never pictured me gone... I saw myself seeing my daughter graduate from college... and next year I will when she has her final show and graduates from SAIC as a budding fashion designer. I've already seen my son graduate from Navy Basic Training and A-School....and he's now on his way to becoming quite the young man. My youngest is over halfway to his black belt in Taekwondo and I'll be there when he finally tests. And my husband and I still have our eyes on that "dream" log home for retirement. 

So next time you are feeling down and out, remember this list and...."Just lift up your chin, and grin, and say....the sun will come out TOMORROW!"